How to Set Yourself Up for Success in Your 20s
Unless you were blessed with child psychologists for parents and life coaches for every developmental stage of your life, odds are you’ve stumbled your way through childhood and into adulthood. Just like everyone else trying to put the pieces of your identity together and being wrong more times than you were right. You’ve sought answers to questions no one has the answers to. That’s because you’ve found out there is no real blueprint for your life or anyone else’s.
Schools didn’t teach you anything past Math, English, and Science. Maybe you found shelter in one of those subjects that has led you to college or a career of its own. Or maybe not, and now you’re searching for what will make you come alive so your time is spent in valuable and meaningful ways. Or, you could be like me a couple of months ago, not sure what life has for me next, better yet what I should even do with my life. The thing is, it’s okay not to have all the answers at this stage in life. Here are the three pillars I’ve found to be the most useful to prioritize as you navigate these uncertain times.
Mental Health
We’ll begin first with you and your mental well-being. None of what follows will fall in place if you do not have your mind in check. Unfortunately, most of us still grew up when we were not taught how to address or take care of our mental well-being. Unless you were fortunate enough to be taught how to prioritize mental health, you might be unaware of some tools to maintain quality of mind. I dive deeper into the how in this article 4 Ways to Take Control of Your Mental Health Today!
Why is this important?
The most powerful asset you have is your mind, not your body. Bill Gates didn’t build Microsoft by lifting weights at the gym (although that is important). By learning how to utilize your mind properly, you will begin to unlock capabilities and eliminate unnecessary hindrances in your life. Did you know stress kills creativity? And that’s just the tip of the iceberg! Where else could you be falling short by failing to maintain quality of mind?
Here are links to some resources to get you started in your Mental Health journey:
- 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos
- Sam Harris Waking Up App. 14-Day Free Trial (If you lack the funds, email the support team, and they will grant you free access)
- HeadSpace. 14-Day Free Trial
Quality Relationships
Did you know loneliness is more dangerous than obesity and as damaging to health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day?
We are currently in what’s called “The Loneliness Epidemic.” That can be tough on anyone, especially just starting out life. When I turned 20, I was all about the hustle. I had enough ego to believe I could make it without having to rely on anyone around me, and at the time, I also had some very low-quality people in my life. Have you ever heard, “you’re the average of your five friends?”
Loneliness takes a toll, and eventually, when you start to burn out and look around to find no one you can confide in and enjoy life with, it’s a bad feeling. My father once told me, “Life is meant to be shared,” which has stuck with me since. Make sure you’re maintaining high-quality relationships through this time. It’s imperative you have people who will push you, respect you for who you are, celebrate your wins, and most importantly, when you get knocked down they will be there for you. Three high-quality relationships are worth more than a hundred low-quality ones.
If you’re struggling with finding high-quality relationships or find yourself surrounded by low-quality relationships it’s only a symptom of a broader problem. Often, I have found in my own experience that “we only accept the love that we think we deserve” is often the rule, not the exception. It all comes back to the relationship with yourself, what you choose to accept out of life, and the relationships you choose to foster.
Finances
Now, this can be a tricky one. If you’re like me, you didn’t hit the lottery, and unfortunately, I do not come from the 1%, so it looks like I’m going to earn my small pot of gold the hard way. You might have responsibilities like supporting your family, student loans, or sneaky vices. For supporting family, student loans, or any other kind of debt, I recommend beginning with Dave Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps.
For my people whose vices and need to keep up appearances is slowly and surely draining your bank account, it’s time to get a grip! I haven’t always been a financially literate person. In fact, two years ago I went out on a date that rang up to an even $50, and I only had $54 in my back account… talk about sweating bullets. Now, while you might be seeing your other friends get cars, and nicer clothes, remind yourself of where you want to be financially in 10 years. That nice and new fancy car your friend just signed up for is a 5–6 year subscription for $500 a month on a depreciating value that will likely cost a quarter more than the total value upfront due to interest. Now, 20,000 is 25,000 in the long run. Wowee!
I love nice things, but not when I’m digging my own financial grave. Maybe you haven’t bought a car, so you might be saying, “how does this apply to me?” Well, this can apply to many more things that add up, and you don’t realize it. Do you love some coffee? How about Starbucks? Let’s take a peek at what your coffee habit could cost you. Again I cannot recommend enough Ramsey’s 7 Baby Steps. Take control of your financial future today; you’ll be happy you did tomorrow!
Last Bit.
Below is the list of questions I currently reflect on. The purpose behind these questions is to unveil intentionality. I strongly believe that living a life of purpose begins with knowing your WHY.
- What is your why?
- Why do you do what you do every day?
- What is your purpose for getting out of bed every morning?
These are some of the more challenging questions I have encountered in life, and I’m still looking for those answers. However, I recognize I can cultivate meaning and purpose by taking responsibility for my life and actively try to better myself and those around me. It can be the smallest of things like helping out my local food shelter or making a person feel valued. We have the power to change what we can reach, but it starts with you!
Life is a process with many ups and downs, but it sure does help to have your mind in the right place, relationships in which people genuinely care about you, and the ability to put food on the table.
